Let me start out by saying that Nicole Kidman isn’t one of my favourite people in the world. From producing an indistinct and entirely novel way of speaking which was, ostensibly, an attempt at an Irish accent in Far and Away to marrying the world’s first insane android, Tom Cruise, she was never likely to be in my best books. However, to be fair to the lady, she did have the good grace to divorce the buffoon before his plans for Scientology world domination became public, and in The Others, even manages a passable English accent.

Another bonus for Alejandro Amenábar’s film is that liking Kidman’s character is not necessary, or really encouraged. Boxes of frogs are best bought into play as similes when describing her state of mind throughout the film, and although there is a certain basis for her feeling troubled, it too transpires to be somewhat self-inflicted. Kidman is rather out-acted by her screen children, but if I was being charitable I could suggest that this was a moment of kindness on her part rather than her being one of Hollywood’s more overrated actresses.

Kidman aside, this film is a faultless exercise in creeping the fuck out of you. I was not aware of the twist, or at least I’d forgotten the fact that I was aware of it when I started watching the film, and it came at me as a final bucket of iced water pouring down my spine when everything finally clicked into place. Although this might in part be due to an unannounced arrival on screen of Keith Allen which is enough to make anyone feel a little unwell and have to have a good, long, lie down.

The gist of the film is that Kidman and her two children live in a house that appears to be haunted. Pianos play in locked rooms, the children profess to see and hear people that aren’t there, and there is much banging and crashing in areas of the house which should be unoccupied. What is a pretty simple concept is executed with great prowess, and by the end I was sitting on my sofa wondering whether I was a little too old to be this scared of going upstairs on my own.

Although it probably goes without saying, this film is more scary and disturbing than all of the Saw and Hostel films mixed together in one big bucket of blood and should be shown to James Wan and Eli Roth so that next time around they can make a proper film or fuck off.